


I'll Make A Man Out Of You

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Series: Dragon Age: The Modern Version [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Mulan - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Companion Lavellan, Crack, F/F, F/M, Lavellan twins, M/M, Make a Man Out of You (Mulan Song), Multi, Non-Canon Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Polyamory, Texting, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: Atlas Lavellan has had a song stuck in her head all day, crack ensues.





	I'll Make A Man Out Of You

**Author's Note:**

> Commander - Cullen  
> Bees - Sera  
> Lelispy - Leliana  
> Vint - Dorian

**:The Inquisition:**  
  
**Girlvellan** : what is up my dudes  
  
**Cole** : The sky, I think.  
  
**Boyvellan** : oh hardy har, cole  
  
**Varrrrric** : I think the kid's being serious, here.  
  
**Girlvellan** : ok but that doesnt matter  
  
**Varrrric** : Rude.  
  
**Girlvellan** : what matters IS: guess what ive had stuck in my head all day  
  
**Boyvellan** : nobody ask her, it's stupid  
  
**Commander** : And what might that be?  
  
**Boyvellan** : oh, fuck you  
  
**Bees** : oi im curious too  
  
**Girlvellan** : well my loyal subjects  
  
**Girlvellan** : ive had 'I'll Make A Man Out Of You' stuck in my head all day  
  
**Cass** : Ugh  
  
**Lelispy** : It's actually quite catchy, Cassandra, if you'd only give it a chance.  
  
**Cass** : No thank you  
  
**Commander** : LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS  
  
**Cass** : ugh  
  
**Girlvellan** : AYYY  
  
**Bees** : wot  
  
**Commander** : TO DEFEAT THE HUNS  
  
**Cass** : UGH  
  
**Varrrric** : How does he even know the lyrics?  
  
**Girlvellan** : hes got a soft spot for disney  
  
**Boyvellan** : which is all her fault, by the way  
  
**Commander** : DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS  
  
**TheIronBull** : that's sexist  
  
**Commander** : YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET  
  
**Girlvellan** : that is my boyfriend everybody  
  
**Bees** : dont forget meeee  
  
**Girlvellan** : yes sera youre here too and youre just as important  
  
**Bees** : ayyy  
  
**Commander** : BUT YOU CAN BET BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH  
  
**Commander** : MISTER I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU  
  
**Girlvellan** : wait does this make me mulan ??  
  
**Solas** : I'd assume so.  
  
**Commander** : TRANQUIL AS A FOREST  
  
**Boyvellan** : ew, i hate that word  
  
**Vint** : Me too.  
  
**Girlvellan** : me three  
  
**Commander** : BUT ON FIRE WITHIN  
  
**Cole** : That... doesn't seem safe.  
  
**Varrrric** : It's a metaphor, kid.  
  
**Commander** : ONCE YOU FIND YOUR CENTER YOU ARE SURE TO WIN  
  
**Solas** : Are you going to keep spamming me throughout all of this?  
  
**Commander** : YOURE A SPINELESS PALE PATHETIC LOT  
  
**Solas** : I'll take that as a yes.  
  
**Commander** : AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE  
  
**Boyvellan** : you know, i dont mind this as much as i thought i would  
  
**Vint** : Me neither, honestly.  
  
**Girlvellan** : well ive been loving it since the start  
  
**Commander** : SOMEHOW ILL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU  
  
**Boyvellan** : well, of course YOU'VE loved it, hes your boyfriend  
  
**Girlvellan** : and dont you forget it  
  
**Commander** : (bridge bridge bridge!)  
  
**Boyvellan** : ah, right  
  
**Boyvellan** : IM NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH  
  
**Vint** : me? Ok- Say good-bye to those who knew me  
  
**TheIronBull** : come ooon solas  
  
**Solas** : ...  
  
**Solas** : Ugh  
  
**Solas** : Boy, was I a fool for skipping gym  
  
**TheIronBull** : aayy  
  
**Varrrric** : THIS GUY'S GOT 'EM SCARED TO DEATH  
  
**Girlvellan** : HOPE HE DOESNT SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME  
  
**Cole** : Now I really wish I knew how to swim.  
  
**Cole** : how do you swim?  
  
**Varrrric** : I'll teach ya one day.  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WE MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Bees** : these two are crazy  
  
**TheIronBull** : probably some freaky sibling bond  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYCOON  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Lelispy** : This is almost besutiful.  
  
**Cass** : U G H  
  
**Boyvellan** : MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOON  
  
**Vint** : I'm almost proud to say that this one's mine. Almost.  
  
**Commander** : TIME IS RACING TOWARD US TILL THE HUNS ARRIVE  
  
**Commander** : HEED MY EVERY ORDER, AND YOU MIGHT SURVIVE  
  
**Solas** : When is he going to stop?  
  
**Girlvellan** : shhh let him have this  
  
**Commander** : YOU'RE UNSUITED FOR THE RAGE OF WAR  
  
**Bees** : pff not our inky  
  
**Girlvellan** : thonks beb  
  
**Bees** : welcome beb

 **Boyvellan** : ew gay

 **Commander** : SO PACK UP, GO HOME, YOU'RE THROUGH  
  
**Cass** : Will this be over soon?  
  
**Vint** : Soon, I think.  
  
**Cass** : Ugh. Not soon enough.  
  
**Commander** : HOW COULD I MAKGLDN  
  
**TheIronBull** : the fuck happened  
  
**Commander** : SHE CLIMBED IN THROUGH MY BLOODY WINDOW STILL SINGING  
  
**Bees** : pffff thats inky alright  
  
**Boyvellan** : lol  
  
**Commander** : Anyway.  
  
**Commander** : HOW COULD I MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WE MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYCOON  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE  
  
**Boyvellan** : MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE M O O O O N  
  
**TheIronBull** : majestic  
  
**TheIronBull** : still fuckin creepy though  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WE MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYCOON  
  
**Girlvellan** : (BE A MAN)  
  
**Boyvellan** : WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE  
  
**Girlvellan** : MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOON  
  
**Boyvellan** : MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOON  
  
**Solas** : Finally.  
  
**Cass** : Thank the Maker.  
  
**Commander** : Maker, I love you, that was amazing.  
  
**Boyvellan** : ew, save the mushy stuff for yourselves  
  
**TheIronBull** : lmao yeah get a room man  
  
**Girlvellan** : oh we will~  
  
**Commander** : Hey, I'm ju  
  
**Boyvellan** : EW  
  
**Boyvellan** : SISTER N O  
  
**Bees** : save some energy for me laterrrr  
  
**Boyvellan** : N O P E  
  
**Boyvellan** : I AM SUFFERING  
  
**TheIronBull** : pff

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be the start of slmething glorious, i can tell


End file.
